We've reached a crossroads. A time when we just don't know what to expect.
We're entering unknown health territory with Maxwell again, and we're worried.
Maxwell is over eight months old and he cannot eat solid baby foods (He can eat dissolve-able foods though).
It's as though he doesn't know how to swallow. He gags and chokes and tires easy from trying.
When he was almost six months old, I worried about starting solids, but Michael convinced me it was time.
We struggled for about two months, and finally made an appointment with our speech therapist.
She came to our home and did an evaluation for feeding therapy. At first, everything was going okay.
He was happy and swallowing, but then he started struggling.
She said there just wasn't something right with his swallow. She said it wasn't a matter of maturity.
His oral mechanics were age appropriate and he wanted to eat.
She wondered if there was a problem structurally. Something that hadn't formed right.
When he had his feeding tube, he gagged and choked. He never got used to it, which surprised the doctors.
Now looking back, it makes us wonder if there was something more going on that we weren't aware of.
So the therapist ordered a swallow study (the fourth one so far) and a follow-up appointment with our ENT.
Michael and I have been worried all along, and she confirmed those fears with her response.
She said there was nothing more she could do, until we had more information.
After she left, I called Michael to tell him the news. He was very concerned.
I started thinking about going back to the hospital for the swallow study. The same hospital we spent nearly
a month living at. I started thinking about our family being separated while Maxwell recovered.
I told myself that I couldn't go through it again. I just couldn't handle it.
And then an overwhelmingly peaceful feeling washed over me.
And I heard these words, "You can handle it."
I don't know what "it" is. I don't know what the future holds or what to expect.
But I just keep remembering that feeling I had while standing at my kitchen counter trying to process it all.
And so tomorrow, we go to find out some more information. We really don't know what to expect.
It's hard not to imagine the worst, especially with all that he's been through already. Maybe it will be nothing. Or maybe it will be something so simple, an easy fix. Either way, we feel somewhat prepared.
And hopefully, we can get this sweet little boy figured out!
We're entering unknown health territory with Maxwell again, and we're worried.
Maxwell is over eight months old and he cannot eat solid baby foods (He can eat dissolve-able foods though).
It's as though he doesn't know how to swallow. He gags and chokes and tires easy from trying.
When he was almost six months old, I worried about starting solids, but Michael convinced me it was time.
We struggled for about two months, and finally made an appointment with our speech therapist.
She came to our home and did an evaluation for feeding therapy. At first, everything was going okay.
He was happy and swallowing, but then he started struggling.
She said there just wasn't something right with his swallow. She said it wasn't a matter of maturity.
His oral mechanics were age appropriate and he wanted to eat.
She wondered if there was a problem structurally. Something that hadn't formed right.
When he had his feeding tube, he gagged and choked. He never got used to it, which surprised the doctors.
Now looking back, it makes us wonder if there was something more going on that we weren't aware of.
So the therapist ordered a swallow study (the fourth one so far) and a follow-up appointment with our ENT.
Michael and I have been worried all along, and she confirmed those fears with her response.
She said there was nothing more she could do, until we had more information.
After she left, I called Michael to tell him the news. He was very concerned.
I started thinking about going back to the hospital for the swallow study. The same hospital we spent nearly
a month living at. I started thinking about our family being separated while Maxwell recovered.
I told myself that I couldn't go through it again. I just couldn't handle it.
And then an overwhelmingly peaceful feeling washed over me.
And I heard these words, "You can handle it."
I don't know what "it" is. I don't know what the future holds or what to expect.
But I just keep remembering that feeling I had while standing at my kitchen counter trying to process it all.
And so tomorrow, we go to find out some more information. We really don't know what to expect.
It's hard not to imagine the worst, especially with all that he's been through already. Maybe it will be nothing. Or maybe it will be something so simple, an easy fix. Either way, we feel somewhat prepared.
And hopefully, we can get this sweet little boy figured out!
2 comments:
I have no doubt you will handle it all beautifully. But I still wish you didn't have to. We are thinking of you today. Hugs!
Ah Jen, I know how scary "the unknown" is. Our torture for mamas. I hope Maxwell is able to progress through this obstacle and that your family is watched over from up on high. Sending prayers your way!
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